The Matter of Self-Care
“I make it a point to practice self-care. I make an appointment with myself.” Dr. Manisha Singal, a frontline COVID-19 physician, made this statement during an interview with author Lauren Cahn of TheHealthy. Why is it so hard for us to take care of ourselves? I mean, it’s truly a task to actively participate in the act of edifying oneself. It’s something that we have to schedule appointments for to ensure that it happens. In this article, I’d like to discuss what self-care is so that we can then identify what the barriers are that hold us back from truly engaging in this not only necessary but also enjoyable act.
What is self-care?
Self-care: The act of caring for oneself. It’s really that simple. I know that growing up and even into today, many of us have seen the ads where women are shown lying on beds of flowers with lush white robes resting quietly with cucumber-covered eyes while someone applies a clay mask to their pre-moistened pink cheeks and we thought, “Wow, must be nice…” Newsflash! Self-care is available to ALL and certain forms of it are F-R-E-E. Is a facial and massage a form of self-care? Heck yeah, but so are many other activities. Here are some examples:
• Eating more produce
• Increasing your water intake
• Reorganizing your junk drawer
• Meditating for two minutes
• Reading a single chapter of your favorite book
• Diffusing essential oils while you jam out to your favorite song.
The list goes on and on and it does not have to cost you a dime. Self-care rituals look different person to person because no two people are alike. We all have different experiences. In turn, our experiences cause our bodies to respond in ways that can be draining, liberating or lead to whole entire meltdowns. You have to do what works for you.
Why is self-care important?
A quote from Roman emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius: “You have power over your mind-not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.” Despite the fact that self-care is just now becoming a trendy topic, it’s not a new concept. Ancient philosophers knew long ago that the common “struggle” was going to stand through the test of time. So, how are all these so-called ancient concepts relative to you? I do believe that inspiration comes from within us but our brains operate on an involuntary basis most of the time. Here’s an example. You may desire to get some work done in the basement after work, but if you don’t actively set your mind to getting this task accomplished and take steps to get prepared, it’s likely that you will end up putting it off to do something less strenuous and more relaxing. Now, that’s not exactly a bad thing because maybe you needed a good rest, but if you have guests coming over the next day and don’t want to have to get everything done in a panic all at once, then maybe “resting” wasn’t the best choice. You must take charge over your mind at times to overcome the urge to be complicit, average and unproductive.
As we said earlier, our brains are preset by our past experiences; things that happened to us and things that happened to those around us. Yes, we are all products of generations of ancestors who came before us. If you’re a person of African descent living in the U.S., developing a self-care ritual may be more difficult for you because we were not afforded the opportunity to learn about self-care, teach it to our children and practice it when we were first brought to this New World. Some of us are hearing the term for the first time and still thinking that it’s the lady on TV getting a facial. It’s time to break the chains. At some point we have to stop saying to ourselves, “I don’t have time,” “It’s just not for me” and my personal favorite, “I’m fine.”
Where do I begin?
I’m so glad you asked! You begin right where you are. If it takes a lot of energy for you to simply sit still and do nothing but you have a strong desire to meditate on a daily basis, start with one or two minutes maybe just once or twice a week. Longevity is the goal so no rush to master any of these techniques. Here are a few other ways to get started on your journey toward better self-care:
1. Set a calendar reminder on a weekly basis to jot down in your journal one nice thing about yourself and reflect on that. You can write it down and be done because for some of us “saying nice things about ourselves” is hard enough.
2. For those of us who are big city commuters, once a week get on the bus or train at the next stop so that maybe you have to walk a bit further to catch it. Nothing like a little fresh air and exercise as well.
3. Are you into aromatherapy? Angel's Mood Magic is loaded with Signature Essential Oil Blends to lift your spirits any time of day.
4. Cut up or peel an orange, a few apples slices, grapes, raspberries, and blueberries (or whatever combination of fruits that you like); rinse them all off, pat dry and place in a baggie. Carry this in your pocket throughout the day and have a snack whenever you feel like it to ward off the urge to grab a bag of chips, soda or other less healthy but more convenient food choice. This is the beginnings of a more balanced diet.
You are valuable!
There was a time when I had no clue what self-care was, where and how it could possibly fit into my life or why it even mattered to me whether I engaged in it or not. After all, it’s not like it actually made a difference to my situation, I thought. Who cares how I “feel?” How is that going to pay the bills? Feed my child? Get me out of this rut? What I've learned after nearly two decades of working in the healthcare industry and after a year of hardcore psychotherapy is that if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t make it through the situation whether it be good or bad. Depression and anxiety are real and can be paralyzing but there is hope! You can be and feel amazing in spite of where you grew up, who hurt you, what pain you caused yourself of whatever you don’t have. If you are here on this earth, you have a purpose that only you can fulfill.
Please take care of yourself.
What is self-care?
Self-care: The act of caring for oneself. It’s really that simple. I know that growing up and even into today, many of us have seen the ads where women are shown lying on beds of flowers with lush white robes resting quietly with cucumber-covered eyes while someone applies a clay mask to their pre-moistened pink cheeks and we thought, “Wow, must be nice…” Newsflash! Self-care is available to ALL and certain forms of it are F-R-E-E. Is a facial and massage a form of self-care? Heck yeah, but so are many other activities. Here are some examples:
• Eating more produce
• Increasing your water intake
• Reorganizing your junk drawer
• Meditating for two minutes
• Reading a single chapter of your favorite book
• Diffusing essential oils while you jam out to your favorite song.
The list goes on and on and it does not have to cost you a dime. Self-care rituals look different person to person because no two people are alike. We all have different experiences. In turn, our experiences cause our bodies to respond in ways that can be draining, liberating or lead to whole entire meltdowns. You have to do what works for you.
Why is self-care important?
A quote from Roman emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius: “You have power over your mind-not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.” Despite the fact that self-care is just now becoming a trendy topic, it’s not a new concept. Ancient philosophers knew long ago that the common “struggle” was going to stand through the test of time. So, how are all these so-called ancient concepts relative to you? I do believe that inspiration comes from within us but our brains operate on an involuntary basis most of the time. Here’s an example. You may desire to get some work done in the basement after work, but if you don’t actively set your mind to getting this task accomplished and take steps to get prepared, it’s likely that you will end up putting it off to do something less strenuous and more relaxing. Now, that’s not exactly a bad thing because maybe you needed a good rest, but if you have guests coming over the next day and don’t want to have to get everything done in a panic all at once, then maybe “resting” wasn’t the best choice. You must take charge over your mind at times to overcome the urge to be complicit, average and unproductive.
As we said earlier, our brains are preset by our past experiences; things that happened to us and things that happened to those around us. Yes, we are all products of generations of ancestors who came before us. If you’re a person of African descent living in the U.S., developing a self-care ritual may be more difficult for you because we were not afforded the opportunity to learn about self-care, teach it to our children and practice it when we were first brought to this New World. Some of us are hearing the term for the first time and still thinking that it’s the lady on TV getting a facial. It’s time to break the chains. At some point we have to stop saying to ourselves, “I don’t have time,” “It’s just not for me” and my personal favorite, “I’m fine.”
Where do I begin?
I’m so glad you asked! You begin right where you are. If it takes a lot of energy for you to simply sit still and do nothing but you have a strong desire to meditate on a daily basis, start with one or two minutes maybe just once or twice a week. Longevity is the goal so no rush to master any of these techniques. Here are a few other ways to get started on your journey toward better self-care:
1. Set a calendar reminder on a weekly basis to jot down in your journal one nice thing about yourself and reflect on that. You can write it down and be done because for some of us “saying nice things about ourselves” is hard enough.
2. For those of us who are big city commuters, once a week get on the bus or train at the next stop so that maybe you have to walk a bit further to catch it. Nothing like a little fresh air and exercise as well.
3. Are you into aromatherapy? Angel's Mood Magic is loaded with Signature Essential Oil Blends to lift your spirits any time of day.
4. Cut up or peel an orange, a few apples slices, grapes, raspberries, and blueberries (or whatever combination of fruits that you like); rinse them all off, pat dry and place in a baggie. Carry this in your pocket throughout the day and have a snack whenever you feel like it to ward off the urge to grab a bag of chips, soda or other less healthy but more convenient food choice. This is the beginnings of a more balanced diet.
You are valuable!
There was a time when I had no clue what self-care was, where and how it could possibly fit into my life or why it even mattered to me whether I engaged in it or not. After all, it’s not like it actually made a difference to my situation, I thought. Who cares how I “feel?” How is that going to pay the bills? Feed my child? Get me out of this rut? What I've learned after nearly two decades of working in the healthcare industry and after a year of hardcore psychotherapy is that if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t make it through the situation whether it be good or bad. Depression and anxiety are real and can be paralyzing but there is hope! You can be and feel amazing in spite of where you grew up, who hurt you, what pain you caused yourself of whatever you don’t have. If you are here on this earth, you have a purpose that only you can fulfill.
Please take care of yourself.